5 Wellness Tips & Tricks for No-Sleep Nursing Mamas
- Danielle Facey
- Dec 13, 2021
- 4 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
I remember reading blogs, books, and posts one after the other, desperately searching for a way to make my son sleep:
a) independently, and
b) for longer stretches — without compromising my beliefs.
In those early months, I hadn’t realized that my parenting style was rooted in gentle and attachment parenting philosophies. But even after discovering this, I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I simply couldn’t cope on such little, broken sleep for much longer.
I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and caught between my values and my very real need for rest.
Something had to change.
And while I tried many different strategies, my number one tip — the one that has been the most impactful, yet probably the least popular — is simple: acceptance.
Acceptance: The Key I Didn’t Know I Needed
Yup, I said it.
Acceptance is the single greatest and most positive shift that has helped me cope with as little as 3–4 hours of (broken!?) sleep a night at times.
Now, I don’t simply mean that you should accept your child’s wakefulness and do nothing to help your circumstances.
I mean accepting that your child may not be a solid sleeper right now — and working with that reality, rather than fighting against it.
There are still things you can do to help your body and mind get the rest and support they need during this season. Here are some of the most powerful practices that helped me — and that might help you too:
1) Never Clock Watch
Never. I repeat, never ever look at the clock when your little one wakes up overnight.
It won’t benefit you in any way, and if you’re anything like me, it will rob you of even more sleep as you lie awake, clock-watching and wondering if you’ll ever get back to sleep before your little one wakes again.
Instead, keep your phone out of reach, or turn your clock face away from you. Let time blur and soften. Your job isn’t to “win” the night — it’s simply to survive it with as much ease as possible.
2) Stay Hydrated
It might sound basic, but it makes a massive difference to your body and mind if you are properly hydrated, even when you’re sleep-deprived.
I’ve gotten into the habit of keeping a pint of water beside my bed each night, ready to drink first thing in the morning before I even get up.
This small change has made a real difference to the brain fog that clouds my head after a challenging night.
It’s a tiny, tangible act of self-care that says: I matter too.
3) Forget the Household Chores
Seriously — let them go.
Forget anything non-essential that doesn’t facilitate your rest or your bond with your baby.
If you live with someone, talk to them about how, whilst you’re on night duty, they will need to take care of everything else at home. It won’t be this way forever, but right now, it’s what you need.
If you live alone, ask friends and family to help. (People often want to help but need specific guidance.)
Be kind to yourself by putting piles of laundry out of sight so they aren’t constant reminders of everything you think you “should” be doing.
Repeat outfits wherever possible before washing them. If cooking from scratch is exhausting — don’t do it.
Ask loved ones to cook for you once a week, and forgive yourself for eating more sandwiches and ready meals than you might otherwise choose.
Take a breastfeeding multivitamin, and add fresh veg or salad to takeaways to make them a little more nutritious.
Your wellbeing is more important than the washing up. Full stop.
4) Rest or Sleep When Baby Sleeps
You’ve heard it a million times — but if you can, do it.
If you’re able to nap during the day, you probably already are.
If you can’t (or have older children or work obligations), then at the very least, go to bed at the same time as your little one(s) each night.
No, you won’t be able to binge-watch that new Netflix series everyone’s talking about — but the extra hours of sleep you’ll get are so precious.
You might even be able to squeeze in a whole extra sleep cycle, helping you wake up the next morning feeling more human and less mombie.
Trust me — the series will still be there. Your mental health needs you now.
5) Meditate
Meditation works wonders for tired minds as a restorative practice — and you don’t need to do an hour a day or sit cross-legged on a mountaintop for it to help.
It’s scientifically proven to reduce anxiety and depression during pregnancy and beyond (1), and personally, I credit meditation with supporting me through miscarriage, divorce, and postpartum anxiety.
I first discovered the true power of meditation in 2014, when I traveled to the foothills of the Himalayas to train as a yoga and meditation teacher.
It was every bit as inspiring as it sounds — and it transformed my life forever, equipping me with tools to care for my mental health and wellness no matter what life throws my way.
Whether you’re brand new to meditation or a seasoned practitioner, you can listen to a simple meditation designed specifically to help you relax and sleep via my YouTube channel:
Learning to Live (and Thrive) on Little Sleep
Life on little sleep is most certainly different.
You will probably move through some days in a daze. You might cry more easily, forget what you were saying mid-sentence, or feel like a different version of yourself.
But different doesn’t mean bad.
It doesn’t mean that this season can’t still be full of love, joy, magic, and unforgettable moments.
You are probably sick of hearing that this season of sleeplessness won’t last forever — but while it’s ongoing, be fiercely kind to yourself.
Let go of anything that drains you.
Nourish yourself wherever you can, however imperfectly.
Rest when you can.
Ask for help — and accept it without guilt.
You are making the best possible choices for yourself and your family, even when it feels hard.
You are doing enough. You are enough.
Get more, free in-person support for every stage of breastfeeding — from first latch, to last — here.
With love,
Danielle
❤️
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