How to Let Go of Breastfeeding Guilt: Navigating the End of Your Journey with Love
No one prepares you for the guilt that can come with stopping breastfeeding.
We hear so much about the challenges of starting—the latch struggles, the sleepless nights, the doubts. But what about the end?
What about the mothers who have to stop before they’re ready? Or the mothers who continue longer than they ever planned to because their child still needs them?
What about the mothers who make the impossible choice—to stop breastfeeding for medical reasons, for their mental health, or simply because their body is telling them it’s time?
If that’s you, I want you to know this:
You are not failing. You are not doing anything wrong. You are simply moving into the next phase of your journey.
And this transition, like all big transitions, deserves grace, not guilt.
My Story: Letting Go of Weaning Guilt
I grappled with the decision to stop breastfeeding for a long time.
It wasn’t because I wanted to keep going—if I’m completely honest, I hated it by the time I weaned.
But my son? He loved it.
And that made the decision so much harder. Because even though I knew deep in my bones that I needed to stop, that my body and mind were depleted, I still carried the guilt of taking something away that brought him so much comfort.
It wasn’t a medical reason. I didn’t have to stop. But I did for my emotional and mental health—and even though I knew it was right for me, it still took time to reconcile the decision in my heart.
So if you’re reading this and you feel like you don’t have a choice—that you wish you could continue, but for whatever reason you simply cannot—I see you.
Because I, too, made the choice that was best for my family, even when it hurt.
And here’s what I’ve learned: Guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you care.
Why Do We Feel Guilt When Stopping Breastfeeding?
Breastfeeding isn’t just feeding. It’s a relationship. A connection. A rhythm you’ve shared with your child from their very first moments earthside.
So of course, stopping feels huge. Of course, it feels like a loss.
And guilt? Guilt creeps in when something we deeply value feels at odds with reality.
• Maybe you have to stop before you wanted to.
• Maybe your body, your mental health, or your medical situation is demanding a change you never wanted to make.
• Maybe you’re continuing longer than you planned to, and you feel guilt for wanting to stop.
But here’s what I need you to understand: guilt is not always telling the truth.
Guilt is not proof that you’re doing something wrong. It’s proof that you love your child so much that every decision you make for them feels enormous.
Reframing Weaning Guilt as Proof of Love
“I feel guilty because I love my child beyond words.”
“My guilt is not telling me I am a bad mother—it’s telling me how much I care.”
“I am not choosing to wean because I don’t want to breastfeed. I am choosing to wean because I want to be here for my child.”
You are not stopping because you don’t care. You are stopping because you do.
Your child needs you more than they need your milk.
How to Let Go of Breastfeeding Guilt with Grace
1) Shift from Hypotheticals to Reality
Guilt often thrives in what-ifs.
• What if I could have continued longer?
• What if I could have made it work?
• What if I just pushed through?
But this isn’t about hypotheticals. This is about right here, right now.
The truth is:
✔️ Your body or mind is telling you it’s time.
✔️ Your medical situation requires a change.
✔️ You are making the best decision you can with the circumstances you have.
• “If I had another choice, I would take it. But right now, this is the best choice I can make for both of us.”
• “This treatment is not taking me away from my child. It is keeping me here with my child.”
• “My child needs me more than my milk.”
2) Allow Yourself to Grieve While Holding onto Gratitude
Weaning is a loss—even when it’s the right decision.
You are allowed to grieve it. To feel sadness. To miss those quiet moments.
But grief and gratitude can exist together.
• Grieve the closeness of breastfeeding, but be grateful that your bond is unbreakable.
• Grieve the comfort breastfeeding gave, but be grateful that your arms, your voice, your presence will always be enough.
• Grieve the end of this chapter, but be grateful for the next one.
Reflection Tip: Instead of focusing on what’s ending, write down three things that will never change between you and your child.
3) Anchor into What Remains Unchanged
The milk may be stopping.
But the love? The safety? The bond? That will never go away.
Breastfeeding was once the centre of your baby’s world, but at the centre of breastfeeding, it’s always been you.
Repeat after me:
“I am still my child’s home.”
"I am still my child’s greatest comfort.”
“I am still everything my child needs.”
And perhaps the most powerful truth of all:
“I am not weaning because I am leaving. I am weaning so that I can stay.”
Because that is what this is really about.
Final Thoughts: Love, Not Guilt
Guilt has no place here.
Because guilt is a lie that tells you you’re doing something wrong. But what you’re actually doing is loving your child in the best way you can right now.
You are not failing.
You are not selfish.
You are not taking anything away.
You are moving forward with love, intention, and grace.
If you're navigating weaning and need support, my course Weaning with Love is currently 30% off at £97 (usually £147) - with no code required) for a limited time only: click here to learn more.
With love,
Danielle
❤️
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