Breastfeeding Your Toddler: What it's Like & How to Navigate Challenges

Breastfeeding beyond infancy often evokes strong reactions: from admiration to confusion, and sometimes harsh judgement. Yet, for many moms - myself included - breastfeeding a toddler is a deeply rewarding experience that nurtures both mother and child in unique ways. If you're breastfeeding your toddler, or thinking about continuing, you may face practical challenges, societal pressure, and the need for setting boundaries. But here’s the thing: breastfeeding is a personal journey, and there's no "right," timeline when it comes to stopping.

Let’s break down what breastfeeding a toddler is like and how to navigate some of the common challenges that come with it.

Balancing Breastfeeding and Solid Foods

Once your baby reaches toddlerhood, solid foods become an essential part of their diet, but breast milk can still play a vital role. Many moms wonder how to balance the two. The key is to remember that breastfeeding at this stage is often less about meeting nutritional needs exclusively through milk and more about providing comfort, immune support, and a source of connection.

Breastfeeding frequency varies. Some toddlers nurse only a few times a day—perhaps before naps, at bedtime, or when they’re in need of comfort after a long day. Others may still nurse more often, especially during growth spurts or periods of emotional transition, such as starting daycare. Trust your child’s cues and let breastfeeding complement their solid food intake rather than replace it.

How Frequent Should Breastfeeding Be?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. Some toddlers will naturally start spacing out their nursing sessions as they become more interested in food and play, while others might want to nurse as often as they did when they were newborn. Many parents find that toddlers will nurse more frequently when they’re feeling unwell, teething, or going through a developmental leap.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by frequent nursing, consider setting boundaries (more on that later), and know that it’s okay to gradually reduce nursing sessions over time. Remember, breastfeeding is a relationship - both of you should feel comfortable with how it’s going.

Setting Boundaries: It’s OK to Say No

It’s perfectly normal to set boundaries around breastfeeding, especially as your child becomes more independent. Nursing a toddler can be demanding, and it’s important to acknowledge your own needs. Whether it’s limiting nursing sessions to certain times of day or deciding not to nurse in public, boundaries can help you maintain balance.

For example, if your toddler wants to nurse in the middle of dinner, you can gently say, “We’ll nurse after dinner.” You might also redirect their attention or offer comfort in other ways, such as a cuddle or a special toy. The key is kindness and consistency - toddlers respond well to patient, loving communication.

Coping with Social Stigma

Breastfeeding a toddler often invites unsolicited comments like, “Isn’t he too old for that?” or, “It's only for comfort now.” Dealing with the social stigma surrounding breastfeeding beyond infancy can be emotionally draining, but it helps to connect with other mothers who are on the same journey (whether online or in real life).

Breastfeeding beyond infancy is a common and normal practice in many parts of the world. In fact, the World Health Organization (WHO) and the NHS both recommend breastfeeding for two years or longer if both mother and child wish to continue. It’s important to remember that whatever you decide, as your child's mother, you are making the best choice for you both and your confidence in that choice will help shield you from outside judgement. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who understand and respect your decision really helps with this!

A Shallow Latch and Twiddling

As your toddler grows, you might face some breastfeeding challenges you didn’t encounter earlier, such as dealing with a shallow latch or twiddling.

A shallow latch can be painful and inefficient, even for older nurslings. Toddlers sometimes become lazy with their latch, so it’s important to gently guide them back into good habits. Encourage them to open wide before latching, and don’t be afraid to reposition them if needed. I found that modelling a big wide mouth to my son really helped! If discomfort persists, consider consulting a lactation consultant who can help you troubleshoot.

Twiddling - when your toddler pulls, pinches, or plays with your other nipple while nursing—can be particularly frustrating (I hated it!). While twiddling is a natural behavior that may help with milk flow and comfort, it can also be uncomfortable for you. To discourage this behavior, you can redirect your toddler’s hands by offering a toy, holding their hand, or covering your nipple. It’s okay to set limits and teach them that twiddling is off-limits - after all, nursing is a two-way relationship, and your comfort matters too.

Read more about setting gentle breastfeeding boundaries with your toddler, here.

The Benefits of Continuing Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding beyond infancy offers a wealth of benefits. Breast milk continues to provide important immune-boosting properties that protect your child from illnesses, particularly as they are exposed to new germs in social settings like daycare or playgrounds.

Breastfeeding also remains a valuable source of comfort, security, and emotional connection for toddlers, helping them navigate big feelings and transitions with ease. For moms, continuing to breastfeed can help reduce the risk of certain cancers, including breast and ovarian cancer, and it often fosters a unique bond that many mothers cherish.

If you are debating whether or not to continue breastfeeding, as your self these questions first.

Building Confidence in Your Breastfeeding Journey

It’s natural to have doubts about breastfeeding your toddler, especially when you’re faced with societal pressures or logistical challenges. But remember this: you know your child better than anyone else, and you are the best person to decide what works for both of you.

The more confident you feel in your decision, the easier it will be to navigate the ups and downs of breastfeeding a toddler. Trust your instincts, embrace the joys of extended breastfeeding, and know that it’s okay to set boundaries that work for both of you. Whether you nurse for a few more months or several more years, this experience is yours to define.

If you ever feel uncertain or unsupported, reach out to breastfeeding communities - either online or in person—where you can find encouragement and understanding from other moms on the same journey. You’re not alone in this.

Join my Facebook group: The Breastfeeding Mentor Community here.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, breastfeeding is about nurturing, connecting and doing what’s best for you and your unique family and circumstance. Continue as long as it works for both of you, mama - and trust that you’re making the right choice.

For evidence-based, heart-led support in all things nursing, pumping and beyond, my Penguin debut, 'The Breastfeeding Survival Guide,' is available to here, now: https://www.thebreastfeedingmentor.com/book

With love,

Danielle

❤️