Why 3 Years Old Isn’t Too Old to Be Breastfed – It’s Optimal

Challenging Misconceptions About Extended Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding beyond infancy is often perceived as unnecessary, bizarre, and even harmful in Western societies. With fewer than 1% of British mothers nursing beyond 12 months [1] and only 35% of American mothers doing so [2], it’s no surprise that many people see extended nursing as unusual.

But is breastfeeding a three-year-old actually problematic?

As a mother who continues to nurse my son at three years old, I can confidently say: no, it’s not. In fact, science suggests that it’s not just beneficial—it’s optimal.

Note: I stopped nursing my son at 3 years and 9 months old - gradually, gently & responsively. You can read our weaning story here.

While breastfeeding remains the easiest way to help my child settle to sleep, I also treasure the closeness and the profound physiological benefits it provides both of us. Yet, despite these benefits, I often face concerns from friends and family about why I haven’t made an effort to wean.

Their main worries? That extended breastfeeding might hinder his emotional independence or psychological development.

But are these fears justified? Not at all. And here’s why:

1. No Scientific Evidence Suggests Harm from Extended Breastfeeding

There are zero studies to date that have found any detrimental effects of breastfeeding beyond infancy. Not one. While new research could always emerge, we currently have no empirical reason to believe that nursing a toddler or preschooler is harmful.

Instead, what the science does show is that breastfeeding supports emotional security, cognitive growth, and overall well-being. Dr. Lori Winter of the American Academy of Pediatrics states:

“It’s completely appropriate that a mother should avail herself to her infant or toddler… That’s in no way damaging to the child.” [3]

Each child develops at their own pace, and no toddler will breastfeed forever. Societal expectations should never dictate your child’s biological needs.

2. Breastfeeding Supports Brain Development & Neurogenesis

Between birth and three years old, 85% of right-brain development takes place. This period of intense neurogenesis is when the foundation for emotional regulation, sensory integration, and cognitive processing is built.

Breastfeeding plays a key role in nourishing the developing brain in multiple ways:

• Myelination: The process of insulating nerve fibers, which speeds up brain communication, is heavily supported by long-chain polyunsaturated fatty acids (LCPUFAs) found in breast milk [4]. Studies confirm that DHA and AA—both abundant in breast milk—directly enhance myelination [5].

• Oxytocin Release: Known as the love hormone, oxytocin strengthens mother-child bonding, promotes secure attachment, and reduces stress responses in infants [6].

• Circadian Rhythm Regulation: Night-time breast milk contains higher levels of melatonin and tryptophan, helping babies and toddlers establish healthy sleep-wake cycles [7].

Put simply, breastfeeding doesn’t just nourish the body—it actively builds and optimizes your child's brain.

3. Extended Breastfeeding Enhances Cognitive & Emotional Intelligence

Breastfeeding duration has been positively linked to:

• Higher IQ scores in later childhood, even after controlling for socioeconomic factors [8].

• Stronger emotional regulation and reduced risk of anxiety disorders [9].

• Improved language development due to early exposure to maternal speech patterns during feeding [10].

Importantly, many of these benefits are dose-dependent—meaning the longer a child is breastfed, the greater the impact [11].

Rather than hindering independence, breastfeeding equips children with the neurological foundation for self-regulation and emotional resilience.

4. Breast Milk Remains Nutritionally Vital Beyond Infancy

A common myth is that breast milk loses its nutritional value after the first year. This is simply not true. Research shows that in the second year of life (12–23 months), 448 mL of breast milk still provides [12]:

• 29% of energy needs

• 43% of protein requirements

• 36% of calcium requirements

• 75% of vitamin A needs

• 76% of folate needs

• 94% of vitamin B12 needs

• 60% of vitamin C needs

Furthermore, breast milk continues to adapt to the evolving needs of older children. Between 24–48 months, it contains twice as much fat and 50% more protein compared to milk produced in the first year [13].

This makes it an invaluable nutritional safety net, especially during toddlerhood, when picky eating is common.

5. Breastfeeding Reduces the Risk of Obesity

Another fascinating benefit of extended breastfeeding is its protective effect against obesity.

A large-scale study of over 2,500 mother-infant pairs found that breastfed children had a significantly lower risk of obesity compared to formula-fed peers [14].

And again, this relationship was dose-dependent—the longer a baby was breastfed, the greater the protection against excess weight gain.

This is likely due to breastfeeding’s impact on metabolic programming, gut microbiota, and self-regulation of appetite.

Conclusion: The Science Is Clear – Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy Is Highly Beneficial

The overwhelming scientific evidence supports breastfeeding beyond infancy as not only normal but biologically optimal.

There are no proven negative consequences to extended breastfeeding—as long as it remains mutually desired by mother and child.

Of course, no mother should feel pressured to continue breastfeeding if it no longer works for her or her child. But for those who choose to continue, they should do so with confidence—knowing they are providing powerful, lasting benefits.

No matter what society says, biology knows best.

If you are nursing beyond infancy and you're now ready to stop, but your child definitely isn't - you're not alone!

It would be my privilege and pleasure to hold your hand through this journey, helping you wean gently, confidently, and at a pace that feels right for you. I’ve created a range of resources to guide you every step of the way:

🌟 Weaning with Love Course – The ultimate 8-week step-by-step program to help you stop breastfeeding in a way that feels intuitive and aligned with your parenting values. Get lifetime access today! Join here ✨

🌟 Weaning with Love Webinar – A one-hour workshop that walks you through gentle weaning strategies. Plus, get the Weaning with Love guide FREE when you purchase the webinar. Watch now.

🌟 Weaning with Love Guide – A comprehensive, 40-page resource designed to help you transition away from breastfeeding smoothly. Get your copy here.

Whether you’re just beginning to consider weaning or need deeper guidance, these resources are here to support you in making this transition with love, confidence, and care.

With love,

Danielle

X

References (Vancouver Style)

1. Infant Feeding Survey 2010. NHS Digital. Available at: https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/infant-feeding-survey/infant-feeding-survey-uk-2010

2. Breastfeeding Report Card 2022. CDC. Available at: https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/nis_data/results.html

3. ABC News, American Academy of Pediatrics. Available at: https://abcnews.go.com/amp/GMA/Health/story?id=3424593&page=1

4. Victora CG, et al. Lancet. 2016;387(10017):475-90. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6096620/

5. Koletzko B, et al. Br J Nutr. 2014;111(S1):S85-S96. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4302883/?report=reader

6. Uvnäs-Moberg K. Physiol Behav. 2019;207:39-48. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3777218/?report=reader

7. Dewey KG. J Nutr. 2001;131(2):365-7. Available at: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11236735/

8. Victora CG, et al. Lancet Global Health. 2015;3(4):e199-205.

9. Belfort MB, et al. JAMA Pediatr. 2013;167(9):836-44.

10. Horta BL, et al. World Health Organization. 2013.

11. Owen CG, et al. Am J Clin Nutr. 2012;96(5):1044-53.

12. Dewey KG. J Nutr. 2001;131(2):365-7.

13. Lönnerdal B. Am J Clin Nutr. 2003;77(6):1537S-43S.

14. Bartok CJ, Ventura AK. Pediatrics. 2009;123(3):e450-6.